| It’s funny, a lot of people don’t realize this but country singers all actually wish that they were good old rock and roll singers. They long for the crazy all night after-show party complete with sexy strippers, illegal drugs and trashed hotel rooms. Instead they get a life of doing shows where people actually listen to the music, they clap and cheer and that’s all the excitement they get!Yeah, country singers these days need some more excitement! They need some more action! They need more rock and roll! |
1. Shania Twain - She’s a fast machine and I’m sure her motor’s clean, but watch this video. This is a woman who obviously needs a little rock and roll in her life. Here’s the problem though — she needs the attitude! She needs to smoke some cigarettes, get drunk in the back of a tourbus and spend a drunken night in the click…you know, to get her voice a little raspier! I also found it a bit disturbing to hear her sing that she wanted to cum but she was already there.
2. Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines - Umm…Garth? Chris? Well, who are you? I guess we can at least be thankful that Garth didn’t decide that his alterego was going to be a Vegas showgirl or a pinup model! *Shutter* Yikes, that would not bw pretty! Somehow I don’t think that would have been too pretty. Garth decided that he wanted to be another person…a rock singer named Chris Gaines. What was he thinking?
3. Keith Urban - Sometimes country music artists want to look like a rocker instead of sound like one. This is Keith Urban. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover because the tattooed, long-haired, t-shirt wearing dude actually sounds like he should be wearing the signature cowboy hat and boots! He must shop at the wrong place or something.
4. Lonnie Mack - Sometimes country artists try to confuse us listerers and Lonnie Mack is a great example of this. Take for example the song title, Too Rock For Country, Too Country For Rock And Roll. Well, which is it? Is it country? Is it rock and roll? Good thing I’m not deaf because at least I can hear that it’s country! Haha! You can’t pull the wool over my eyes, Lonnie.
5. Bon Jovi - Bon Jovi? Huh? Yeah, I know they used to dress entirely in leather had teased hair, but they settled down and somehow became country. Sure, diehard fans would never admit it but this is what I think — if it sounds like country, it’s country. The thing is, they still wish they were rockers but apparently they must have lost all their electric guitars, distortion pedals and attitude!
Want to know the one country artist that didn’t fail at being a rocker? Johnny Cash. For his cover of Nine Inch Nail’s Hurt, he definately deserves honorary rocker status!
Who do you think fails hard at being a rock star?
3 responses so far ↓
1 Baron Lane // Nov 11, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Nice feature. It helps that Cash started out at the Rock N Roll ground zero, Sun Studios, doing rockabilly tunes like “Hey Porter.”
As for the others on your list, they don’t do a very good job at country music so it’s not surprising they suck at rock as well (vice versa for Bon Jovi.)
2 Kelly // Nov 12, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Including Cash in the “Rock Star” feature is right on! I would even go as far as to take the “honorary” title off, and name him as a rock godfather and visionary. The fact that Bon Jovi called his album “lost highway” sickens me. that tern is such a valued and iconic term in the country realm. Steve Earle should kick his butt!!
3 Fitz // Nov 13, 2007 at 2:44 pm
How about the Cash version of “Rusty Cage”? He, obviously, is in a class by himself that the others can only wish for.
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